Pimp City flip from Papi https://t.co/VObdgbhs3C
— John Feitelberg (@JFeitelberg) July 27, 2014
Summary: The Sox lost two games, but they managed to win one, Ortiz went Pimp City and dropped his nutsack in Chris Archer’s mouth, and the Rays continued to be the whiniest bunch of pussies in all of sports. So as far as a 3-game series in the middle of a terrible season goes, it wasn’t bad.
Series Stats:
Positives:
- All the pitchers were good outside of Tazawa’s disastrous inning that gave him the loss in game one. Lester was out of the game quick after just 6 innings and 110 pitches, but he gave up just two runs and struck out 7 in that time. Unfortunately that may be the last time we see Lester pitching in a Red Sox uniform as the trade deadline approaches.
- Pedey broke out of his slump a bit. He went 5-11 and although that included a couple of infield hits, Pedey was due for a bit of good luck.
- Ortiz hit a three-run, game-winning homer last night and stared at the dugout and tossed his bat and then went for a leisurely stroll around the bases. So of course the Rays were all morally offended. And there is nothing I enjoy more than the Rays getting morally offended because they are such tremendous pussies. Outside of watching the Red Sox collect rings and Mike Trout become the best baseball player ever, there is nothing more enjoyable in the game than watching David Price and Joe Maddon and whoever happens to be on the mound look like somebody just finished force-feeding them lemons when Papi hits one to the moon. It’s absolutely hilarious. Pretty weird that no other team gets their panties in a twist when Ortiz homers and trots around the bases the way he has been for 10+ years now. But all those other teams must be wrong. The Rays are the baseball police after all. If Chris Archer actually has a mental deficiency just let me know so I can apologize, but if not allow me to just say that his IQ can’t be any higher than 65 if he stands behind his logic that Ortiz’s homer wouldn’t have mattered if he didn’t let two guys on before him so he shouldn’t celebrate. I just don’t have the time or patience to unpack that suitcase of retard, but I guess that means Archer thinks that every homer is basically a solo homer because the other guys got on on their own? Baffling. And if he actually wants to know why Papi thinks he can showboat, perhaps this will enlighten him:
Negatives:
- Brock went 1-13 and I blame David Portnoy and the Holt 26 t-shirts. Just a terrible decision going with that design. His twitter handle is BrockStar4Lyf. Absolute layup and Barstool blew it.
- A guy that the Sox see as a long-term piece in the organization, Allen Webster, had one of his better Major League outings as he gave up just three hits and two runs over 5.1, but it was fraught with problems as he struggled with the same control issues that plagued him at the top level last season. He threw strikes at less than a 50% clip and he walked 5 yesterday to bring his career WHIP to 1.766 and his career BB/9 to 5.8. If he doesn’t show that he can throw strikes consistently he may best be used as a trade chip.
Looking Ahead: Red Sox v Blue Jays. 2nd Half: 5-5. Overall: 48-57. 5th in AL East. 10.5 GB.
- Buchholz (5-6) v Dickey (8-10)
- De La Rosa (3-3) v Stroman (6-2)
- Lester (10-7) v Buehrle (10-7)
The Jays are coming in hot after winning their last three against the Sox before winning the final two of a three game set against the Yankees over the weekend. This is bad news for the Red Sox. Especially considering that Buchholz is on his way back to being total shit, De La Rosa sucks away from Fenway, and Lester may well be gone by the time Wednesday rolls around. The only saving grace for the Sox is that Encarnacion is still out.
Predictions: If Lester is still around, the Sox take one. If Lester is gone, I cry myself to sleep.
